By Alex Bolotovsky, CEO of J Leaders
Parsha in a Nutshell
When Sarah dies, Abraham negotiates with the Bnei Cheit (the local residents) to buy a burial site. The Torah repeats their name again and again (nine times) turning what sounds like a real-estate transaction into a study in persuasion, perception, and patience.
Diving Deeper
Abraham could have said, “God promised me this land, so hand it over.”
Instead, he bows. He asks. He calls himself a “ger v’toshav” – a foreigner and a neighbor (Gen 23:4).
The repetition of Bnei Cheit isn’t redundancy. It’s emphasis. The text keeps showing us the stakeholders involved. Abraham knows they’re watching, and he treats them like they matter. He doesn’t strong-arm his way through the deal; he earns his legitimacy by showing respect, humility, and persistence.
This is one of the Torah’s earliest leadership lessons: power without perception doesn’t last. Influence comes from understanding who’s in the room and what “yes” needs to sound like to them.
Leadership Takeaway
Real leadership isn’t about having the right, it’s about earning the right to be heard. Abraham teaches that how you ask often matters more than what you ask for.
Weekly Leadership Challenge
- Read the room: Before your next ask (for time, support, or buy-in) pause to consider what the other person values.
- Ask with respect: Lead with curiosity (“How do you see this?”) instead of assumption.
- Earn the yes: End one conversation this week with more trust than you started with.